Dale Carnegie Model of Influence

Dale Carnegie wrote the father of self-help books, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." In it he outlined the following techniques and principles in influencing others:

1. Be warm, sincere, and honest. Focus on benefiting the other person. Show interest in and care for them and their interests and desires. Make them feel important and appreciated. Use their name regularly in conversation. Don't argue with them. Be positive and praise their qualities and improvements. Praise the qualities in them that you want them to show. They will want to continue showing those qualities, or to begin showing them.
2. Know exactly what you want them to do.
3. Be a good listener and ask questions. Find out what their desires are. Let them do a lot of the talking, and only talk about yourself if they ask. Learn as much as you can about them, and remember it. Try to understand their point of view. Talk in terms of their interests.
4. Figure out what benefits they will receive by doing what you want them to, and match the benefits to their wants.
5. Help them come up with your idea on their own. Let them feel the idea is theirs. Plant ideas casually. Give them the situation and information, then ask for a solution. Give suggestions in the form of questions. "Do you think this would work?"
6. Challenge them to act on that idea. They will commit because it is their own idea and they want to do it properly. They also want to excel. They will feel important and appreciated if they succeed and receive praise.

Other Ideas:

• The techniques described above are about emulating the qualities of being loving, proactive, positive, honest, sincere, and meek or humble. Theoretically, if you were to actually develop these qualities, you would do all of these things naturally; while on the other hand, if you were simply pretending, it would not only be dishonest, but probably wouldn't work as well (unless you're a really good actor).
• Smile! Even on the phone! Nobody can resist it. People are drawn to happy people.
• Remember people's names, interests, employment, family, and birthdays. Write them down. When speaking to someone, use their name regularly. They will feel appreciated if they see that you took the time to remember. Study their interests so you have something in common and so you understand them better.
• Use visualizations and dramatizations. Use objects and symbolism. People learn visually.
• Give people titles or toys that embody the virtue you want them to display, like a wrench or "Fix-It-Jensen?."
• Talk about your own mistakes and express praise and appreciation before talking about another's faults.
• Get people to start off answering "yes, yes." Psychologically, if you start off saying it, you will want to keep saying it. Build a logical bridge of questions that you know they must answer yes to from their desires and beliefs to what you want them to do or believe. Ask first if they want the benefits, then if they want what renders the benefits.

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